every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
