what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
