did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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