pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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