ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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