Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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