You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
