I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
