my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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