Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
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And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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