She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
