so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
