just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
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