Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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