how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
