my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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