I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
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But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
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Everyone says I win the strip club
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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