Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
