fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
