I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
