used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
