where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My bed smells like the plague
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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