By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
