I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
