Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
