After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
