Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize
