we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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