this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
