Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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