covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I can't put those talents on a resume
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
