Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.

(651): View more from Minnesota

again?

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(773): View more from Illinois

Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

Please get laid.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?

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(970): View more from Colorado

Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids

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(252): View more from North Carolina

You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"

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(251): View more from Alabama

The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day

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