My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
