problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize