we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize