so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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