if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
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i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
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Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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