I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
