piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
