theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
