dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
