Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
