I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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