so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
