It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Randomize
