nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
