first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
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