You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
