I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
how drunk are you?
Several
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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