Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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