The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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