wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
