lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
