lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
