the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
