I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
