I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
