the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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