she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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