shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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