I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
