is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
