And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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