I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
