Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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