I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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