Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
